If you have ever come to Dubai in summers, you would understand that people who live here, in general, do not use their balconies. Unless, of course you want a steam bath:) I am talking about temperatures touching 49 deg C, coupled with humidity of about 100 %. When we say humidity, we are talking about relative humidity. A 100% relative humidity means that air is totally saturated with water vapour to an extent that it can’t hold any more. Ideally, capacity of air to hold water increases with temperature. So 100% humidity at a high temperature of 49 deg C is indeed a big deal. If you want to know more about how to calculate relative humidity, here is the formula : )
With this brief digressive intro into Temperature and Humidity, let’s come back to the topic. So, I was away from my house for 10 days recently and during this summer I have used my balcony very little. It has become more like a dump for unused furniture, Amazon empty delivery boxes and rags. So, after i came back, one day, just out of curiosity, I opened my balcony to check how much more dust has gathered on the stuffs thrown in my balcony, and to my surprise, between two of the chairs, thrown in the balcony, I saw a Pigeon ( I think she is a pigeon, please excuse me if she is not, let’s say she is an adorable bird of some species similar to that of pigeon), sitting there quietly. She didn’t move even after having seen me. I was really surprised ( generally, animals will run away and bird will fly away from humans at the very sight, and why not, we are the most monstrous creatures for animals, we kill them, eat them, torture them, make them suffer for fun, cage them, etc. what a shame? ), she didn’t fly away. I thought she is hurt or stuck somehow between the chairs as you can see in the picture above. Then, I saw a broken egg on the floor and I realised that she might have laid eggs and she is brooding.
I recently became a father so as a parent and those of who who are parents will appreciate that parents will go to any extent to protect their offsprings. In this case a life in becoming from a fragile egg which is going through this amazing natural magic of transformation from a chemical to a life. There was no doubt in my mind that the egg needs to be protected, so I brought a big sheet ( I can tell you might wife is not very happy about me using a new bed sheet for this ) and covered the open end of the chair to make it look like a small shelter. Got a bowl of water and some grains and kept it on the floor so that the bird should not go too far away for food and water. After doing all this, and, as I am an animal lover, out of love, I very gently tried to touch the bird to calm her down, and to show that I am not going to hurt her. But, I forgot that in her eyes I am still a monstrous human being, whose fellow humans torture animals, so she flew away leaving her nest and the egg. I looked at the nest and it was beautifully and intelligently designed from straws and small metal wires etc etc. I don’t know from where she found these things in Dubai, but I am sure this must have taken her quite a planning and airtime to build her nest, including the selection of my balcony as her home, which I am very pleased about:) Now, for next few hours, I felt like a real stupid, why was i trying to touch the bird. Would she come back? If she doesn’t then what would happen to her egg? These questions crossed my mind and before I went to sleep, I prayed that she should return back. Well, next day morning she did :) I felt a sigh of relief and she has been actively brooding since then. I will let you know once the baby is out:)
In essence, every time I opened my balcony, I walked out of an air-conditioned, fully furnished, cosy and comfortable flat to my balcony where a delicate bird is trying to bring her only egg to life in a temperature of 49 deg C and humidity touching almost 100%. You need to experience this to understand what this feels. Where would the poor bird go, we have cut all the trees ( in general, not particularly in dubai ) to build apartments for ourselves. Think about the plight of millions of animals and bird who are homeless because of human atrocities towards them. How would they manage their families, where would they find food and shelter, how would they deliver babies and how would they nurture them. Well, we are a callous species, we don’t care about what happens to others, isn’t it? till the nature strikes at us in the form of a calamities like earthquakes and storms etc. Honestly, we have collectively acted so irresponsibly, for so long, that all sufferings of humans to an extent today seems justified. This massive bad Karma at such a colossal scale can’t go unnoticed. someone has to pay a price for all the killing and sufferings of animals. It’s either going to be our generation or the next one, unless we put a stop to this human madness. I am not only talking about madness in our actions but also in our thoughts. You will appreciate that the situation of this bird is indeed “Adverse” but just across my balcony door, in my living room, relaxing on a couch, sipping a cold drink, having some snack, watching a Netflix series , my situation certainly doesn’t qualify to be called “Adverse”. But you will be surprised to know that I have met many people who in their cosy homes, will complain about Netflix not coming with good series now, Hollywood not releasing better films etc etc. Hilarious and Stupid at the same time :( Have you come across such people in life ? who look at a tomato in a grocery store and complain about why the color of this tomato is not as red as it should be:) Your walking 2 minutes to the parking lot in summer is not adversity, but living in summer in desert all day and night for an animal without shelter is indeed an adversity.
We complain about every small thing and minor uncomfortable changes in our lives, which, in the grand scheme of things are absolutely nothing. Does it bother you that your friend bought a house but you didn’t. ( even though you still have a roof ). Does it bother you that everyday you are unable to dine out ( even though you can cook great food at low cost in your home ). Does it bother you that your child didn’t get through some top college ( even though he / she is very capable in living a decent life with decent education). Does it bother you that only 20 people liked your FB post as compared to your friend’s post who got 200 likes ( even though its possible to have a good 20 meaningful close relationships and followers than have 200, who won’t give a shit about what’s happening in your life, actually these 200 people might feel better off if you are worse off, “Someone’s agony is somebody’s ecstasy” ). Does it bother you that you neighbour went on an exotic holiday ( even though there are simple places you can visit near your home and have an amazing picnic with your closed ones ). Does it bother you that you have a hatchback instead of a luxury sedan ( even though both serve the same purpose ). List goes on…..
The first step to have a peaceful life is to start with a feeling of “Gratitude”, A sense of gratitude for anything and everything that you already have, like a rented place, a small car, your family, your friends, your job ( even if you don’t like it ). You need to appreciate that in any given day, there would be, not millions, but billions of people who will be willing to give an arm and and leg just to have a life that you already have, right at this very time in your life. The moment you get this sense of gratitude, everything calms down. The noise of the world subdues. Close your eyes and just feel grateful for what you have in this very moment. Thank god ( in whatever form you worship ), if you don’t believe in god, no issues. Just be grateful….
From this point of gratefulness, you can walk towards achieving things that you really need or the things that really matter and are meaningful. Not things, that you feel are required just because someone else has. In most likelihood, even that person whom you are chasing might also not need what he / she has. Keeping things simple and decluttering your life from unwanted stuff, unwanted relationships will go a long way. Once you have found this foundational wisdom that what you have now is enough to be peaceful today, then at the very least, this one day which is today will go well. From here you can work towards what you want to achieve, but during this journey whatever comes, good bad ugly, difficult situations, just be grateful that you are still better off than not millions but billions of fellow humans. This will help you walk through adversities with courage and peace.
The idea is not to seek adversity. A Stoic will avoid adversity wherever possible in ways any sensible person would do. At times however, adversities come regardless, and then the goal of a Stoic is to see adversity correctly and not let one’s mind be destroyed by its arrival. Although nobody wants hardships but you like it or not it is a necessary element in the formation of worthy people and worthy achievements that, in long run, we all want. A stoic sees some value in whatever happens, irrespective of what happens!!! There is always something to gain from any situation, the bare minimum you achieve is an experience which you can use in future to fight similar adversities.
“A healthy eye should see all there is to see, not say “I want to see green things” - for that is a sign that the eye is diseased. And healthy hearing and a healthy sense of smell should be ready for all that there is to be heard and smelled…So, too, a healthy mind should be ready for whatever may come to pass.” : Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (10.35)
I would leave you with more of the these great words from the great Marcus Aurelius.
“How unfortunate I am, that this has happened to me!” Not at all- rather, “How fortunate I am, that although this has happened to me I am still unhurt, neither broken by the present nor dreading what is to come.” For something of this sort might have happened to anyone, but not every-one would remain unhurt in spite of it…. Remember then, on each occasion that might lead you to grief, to make use of this idea:”This is no misfortune; to bear it nobly, rather, is good fortune.” : Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (4.49)
May you walk through adversities of life like a lion / lioness and win every moment, and feel immensely gratified that you did so….
VS
( Watch this space for philosophy in action )